I recall this day last year.

We spoke to Andrew a few times during the day. His hand was hurting him for he had broken it on Friday and had it set on Saturday. He was going to get some books today for school then relax for the day. School started tomorrow.

He was looking forward to starting his senior year – his last year of school. He worked so hard for the past three years and he was glad to be finishing up. Although he knew he probably needed his masters degree, he was about to complete college. Graduating was something he was looking forward to so much. We talked to him taking just the four classes, a little less stress for him, a little easier…and then just completing his degree over the summer with a couple of electives. He was happy that we were not pushing him to finish in May, but rather over the summer.

Surreal Territory by Chuck AndersonWe talked about his job. He had a full time permanent job with a software company in Denver starting when he graduated. It was his dream job, making great money, living in Boulder, easy hours and and he got it before he even started his senior year. That took so much pressure of him.

IMG_0014We talked about Jovi. She was with her mom for the weekend and he missed her – although she was gone only a few days. He was very happy with her, and we know that they loved each other unconditionally. He loved her youthfulness and the fact that she accepted him for whatever he was. He loved to buy her little gifts – like candles, or Hello Kitty notebooks and bags. Whatever he bought her, she was so happy with. And she would bring him food when he was studying, and they would hang out and hold hands for a little while until he had to go back. It was their special time together.

IMG_0112He asked about Buttercup – our new cat. We got her a week before he got home from college in June and he spent a lot of time with her over the summer, along with Daphne. He hinted at getting a cat out there for the two of them, for his apartment allowed them, but he wasn’t sure the two of them could care for one – they were not that responsible.

He reminded me to drive his car every few weeks to keep it in working order and make sure it didn’t freeze up. But I had to drive it slowly and had to be careful – I wasn’t allowed to drive it like he enjoyed driving his little sports car. The fact is I could barely fit into the car so performance driving it was pretty much not an option.

We talked about some other stuff as well, but it seemed insignificant. When I was there just two days before, we bought some sushi salmon for dinner. He made some white rice, cut up the fish, made his own rolls. He used the little soy sauce bowls we had bought last week. He was very particular about his soy sauce. He liked a couple of brands and would only use them. He told us that he was going to eat dinner now, then relax, watch some TV and head off to bed. He would talk to us Monday and tell us how school went on the first day.

We were so happy that he was happy. We were happy that he was in such a good place mentally and emotionally. Everything was good.

Then he went to sleep.

There was so much more for him to do, but it was not to be.
There was so much for him to experience, but he never would.
There was so much more for him to tell the world, but we will never know.

We miss you and love you so much.
Today is going to be so hard.
And I don’t want to go to sleep tonight at all.


9 thoughts on “Today

  1. Pam & Joe

    We know. Just two little words, but you get it. Especially the part about going to sleep, forever. We KNOW.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Dorothy.

  2. Anna

    My heart breaks every time I read your beautiful words or think of you guys. Your thoughts are so caring, universal and insightful.
    I didn’t know Andrew but I do now.
    I will never forget him or his loving, mourning family.
    My love to you all on this very sad day.

  3. Joanne Frizalolne

    Well, I know Tuesday is the one year mark of Andrew’s passing. (The word anniversary seems so inappropriate) Over the last two weeks as this day was approaching, I have thought of your family each and every day. Who could believe that a year has gone by…it seems as though it just happened. But for you, it must feel like an eternity. You all are in my thoughts and prayers and will never be forgotten.

  4. Susan Wallace

    Andrew was a special man who touched so many lives – I’m sure more than he ever knew. Stay as strong as you possibly can, but let your emotions flow… It is good to cry; let your grief out. May you, Dorothy, Nicole and Jovi be there for each other. I know you are, but on this difficult day even more so. My thoughts and prayer are with you as always. Nick called me on my first day back to school to tell me about this tragedy. I couldn’t understand him through his tears. I will never forget that day or that phone call. God be with you, Perry. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. If you need anything, anything… We are a phone call or text away and will be there immediately. My heart is with you, Perry.

  5. Ned

    Yesterday, the 26th of August, I was in the same fruit orchard here in New Hampshire that I was when I first heard of Andrew’s passing. The orchard is beautiful, the fruit singing of birth, ripeness and sweetness. I will always remember Andrew as a young man in the fullness of his newly developed powers and talents and offering sweetness and new life to those around him.

  6. Sally

    I just read this post, Perry, and I already know that “last day” is etched in your mind forever. You can be at peace knowing Andrew’s last day on earth was happy and peaceful right through to his passing. No pain, no anxiety, just a peaceful happy exit. I hope that knowledge is a comfort to you and Dorothy.

  7. nikki

    I came across a post on FB bc of Compassionate Friends. I am glad I read it. It brought me here. I did not personally know or have the privilege to meet your son. I must say threw your posts and stories i have laughed and cried with this page. Thankyou for sharing your page. I really appreciate knowing of such a beautiful being.


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